LOOKING AT MY CHOICES AGAIN

by Mary de la Pena, esq

marydelapena-author.com delapenalawoffice.com

I am trying to be a good patient—really I am! I’m staying away from alcohol, mostly, except for maybe a half glass of wine two or three times a week. And, I am not only back in the pool exercising, but I am eating lots more fruits and vegetables—and a donut has not passed my lips in weeks!

See, Doc? Really, I’m trying!

This was the conversation I was having with my very concerned internist who had been my family’s doctor for more than two decades. But, somehow he wasn’t buying it.

Hmmm, could it be the backsliding? You know, the backsliding of going back to court and dipping into the adrenaline stream—should I tell him?

I hesitated just long enough for him to guess.

“How’s the law practice going?” he asked, staring hard into my eyes.

When I just shrugged, he sighed, which in his vernacular is the same as a scolding. He sighed again, then just said, “It’s your life. Your choice.”

What could I say? Is it really my choice? Can I really abandon my clients who need me? And, what about my law partner husband who still choses to practice? What about him when he needs help?

These are the choices any professional needs to face when having to make the decision to retire or stay in the arena. But, are they real choices, or are they a product of ego?

Ego—that funny thing inside professionals that lead us to believe our clients can’t make it without us, or our spouses would rather see us work ourselves to death than spend a long happy life together because they need the money we make.

Whoa, dude, maybe I need to re-examine what is really going on. Is it the need for the powerful rush of adrenaline that is making me return to the courtroom, or is it my need to believe I am indispensable?

Hmmm, maybe I need to look at the choices again—focusing on my writing and living the rest of my life in peace, or riding the wave of adrenaline. A choice not as easy as it appears.

Again, stay tuned. . .