Sometimes Life Includes Dying--When to Let Go

There are so many things on which I could comment, the Zimmerman verdict, immigration reform, and all other things legal, including amending the filibuster rule in the Senate.  But today, my heart needs to talk about letting go.  The inevitable time when one make the decision to let a loved one continue to suffer, or let them pass simply and quietly.

My beloved Rottweiler, Tara, featured in Scruggs and Samantha, How a Shelter Dog and Kitten Saved Cinderella's Marriage, has not eaten since Wednesday night.  She is currently under the tender care of doctors and staff at California Veterinary Specialists in Ontario, California, but even with their round the clock care, she is fading.  So, Prince Charming and I are faced with the choice of letting her pass quickly, or stringing out what appears to be the inevitable--death.

Tara has a huge heart, but is also susceptible to pancreatitis, an inflammation of the pancreas which also inflames the bowel and intestinal linings.  This causes extreme pain and an unwillingness to eat. The lack of desire to eat may be nature's way of letting the intestines and pancreas heal, but for my huge hundred pound dog, it is also causing her to waste away, though the doctors are replacing her fluids and balancing her electrolytes through intravenous feeding.

Her absence is felt throughout the house, and strangely enough, throughout the neighborhood.  Fina, my Rottweiler mix, refuses to leave the front door, the door by which Tara left to go to the veterinary hospital.  Halo, the neighbor's dog, Tara's fence buddy is calling from up the hill, but his calls are not answered by either Tara or Fina.  Tara can't answer, Fina won't until Tara comes home.

But, the trip home may not happen, Fina's sighs may not be assuaged, and Halo's calls left unanswered. I made a promise to my animals that when the end is inevitable I would not make them linger or suffer indignities.  Yet, here I am three days later, lingering over the decision to let Tara go, bring her home, or let the doctors continue to try to bring her back.

If this was the first or second time around for this flare-up, I would not hesitate to keep trying.  But both Tara and Prince Charming have previously had pancreatitis.  It is painful, and lingering.  My dog is ten years old; old for a large dog.  My prince, has not had a flare-up since his hospitalization in the late 1990's.  What to do?  What to do?  I am truly lost.

So, do I keep my promise and let Tara's mighty heart keep beating though she is racked with pain?  Or do I let her go, quietly and peacefully with a kind doctor's help?  We humans do not have that choice, but we humans can make that benevolent choice for our animals.

What would you do?

With love and tears,
Mary de la Pena